We at Salon’s Direct asked hair stylists for their most bizarre, funny or damn right weird quotes / stories made by customers. Needless to say, the response rate was as spectacular as the quotes themselves. The best one’s have been selected and we hope you enjoy them as much as we have in our office!

Things you don't expect to hear at your salon

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1. “If I colour my hair while pregnant will it change the colour of my babies hair?”

2. An elderly lady came in saying her hair colour is perfect but when she puts hairspray on it, it does all white and dull. She pulls out the bottom to show me…It was deodorant.

3. A client I was giving a perm to told me as I was applying the solution: “This must be what a urinal feels like, all wet, warm and smelly.”

4. Whilst I was massaging a clients head she was moaning “Oh god that’s so good, you’ve got strong, magical hands.”

5. “My son has asked if you can cut his hair, he gets in a tiz with the other girl because she’s young and pretty.”

6. One client told me she likes sex outside and then smacked my bum whilst I was sectioning her hair.

7. “Can you pour custard on my hair before you wash it, I like the feeling.”

8. I once had a client who makes up her own hair cut, it’s a bloody mess but she thinks it looks nice.

9. I had a client that “invented” thinning, cutting her hair at the root at randoms intervals all over to thin it out. Needless to say it was very hard to cut and style.

10. “I want a complete restyle …But I would like to keep my length.” – Just a trim then?

11. “Can you colour my hair, so that in Facebook photos it looks the same colour it does in my living room mirror.”

12. “I’m pregnant, can I still have my hair done?” – Well where exactly do you think I’m applying the colour and cutting?

13. “How do I stop the colour from slipping off my hair?”

14. “I just want one layer.”

15. “Are the purple pieces in your hair, your natural colour?”